EU gives Swine Fever instructions

While the first confirmed cases of swine flu in the UK were being treated in a Scottish hospital, the European Empire summoned the health ministers of all member states to an emergency summit to give them their instructions.

The EU Health Commissioner has issued advice against unnecessary travel to Mexico and other areas with cases of swine flu. Christ, the man's a genius.

You would expect health ministries to be left alone and get on with their job but this isn't the EU way of course. David Milliband, the Foreign Minister, said that it is "right that we put the issue of swine fever on the foreign ministers' agenda" because there needs to be "maximum European co-ordination". Why does there need to be maximum European co-ordination and how does the Foreign Minister suddenly know how best to deal with an outbreak of a Mexican flu virus?

What we need to do is stop all travel to and from countries that have cases of swine flu and to vet anyone coming into the country to make sure they haven't been to any of the affected areas in the last couple of weeks. One small problem though - we can't close our borders to "EU citizens" and we can't interfere in their "right" to travel to our country whether it risks spreading swine flu round the country or not.

Another one of the obvious and tangible benefits of being in the European Empire.